Affect Of Conflicts With Husband & In-laws On Kids
by Alka
(Haryana)
Hi Annie,
I am feeling good and more relaxed after reading all your replies for other Questions.
My query is somewhat similar to the Query How To Cope With Negative In-Laws
Actually my Mom-in-law was never a good lady for me and my 3.5 year old daughter. She has no love or sympathy for me since after my marriage, as in Indian families some Mothers feel their son is being grabbed by their daughter in law. Till that point it was OK, but then after my daughter's birth she behaved very very badly, even with my new born, because of which I raised my voice and then the situation got worse.
My little daughter has seen many fights at home. Her father is educated but is not aware of and even he doesn't want to be aware of the needs of kids and the way of positive parenting.
I usually read many things and keep myself informed, but my hubby is very rude, harsh and always shouts and keep on degrading his own child. He says things like, "you don't look good, you are a bad girl" etc. I am very well aware that all these things put a negative impact on children but I feel helpless as he never wants to listen to me and never changes his behaviour.
I've observed many negative things in my daughter like:
1) She is very negative and always says bad to everything for no reason, and she always says no to everything.
2) If anytime I ask her to do something, she always replies in negative way.
3) She is very aggressive, less concentration, always shouts about things, never goes outside for playing and she never wants to share anything.
Such major negativity have come in her, I am very worried about my daughter and her behaviour. I always try to be very positive, loving, and caring with her and she is also very concerned and caring and attached to me. But how can I keep my daughter away from those all negative things that impact her life?
I feel so bad sometimes - how will she be able to concentrate in her studies and life's important things, if she'll be confronting this negative influence all the time? And above all my husband is not mature, so that is the main reason of my worries.
Ma'am, Please suggest some solutions to make at least my daughter's life better.
Thanks.