Authoritarian Parenting Style:
Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child

Diana Baumrind, developed the term Authoritarian Parenting Style as a category in her 3 Parenting Styles. The other two categories are Permissive Parenting and Authoritative Parenting.

The authoritarian parenting style is seen as being the most inflexible and rigid of all styles of parenting; "sit down, shut up and do as you're told". Authoritarian parents tend to be more the sergeant major type, with expectations that children obey unquestioningly, and are punished when they don't comply.

There is little explanation of rules and regulations, and children are not encouraged to voice an opinion.

Father's are more likely to lean towards Authoritarian style parenting, probably because in past generations, the father was seen as the authority figure in the family, and children were expected to be seen and not heard.

What Effect Does The Authoritarian Parenting Style Have On Children?

These children have very little ability to think for themselves and have little creative thinking or problem solving ability.

Children from Authoritarian parenting style may tend to feel less close to their family, than other parenting styles.

The Authoritarian parenting style is emotionally distant, and the way to motivate a child is by fear. A child raised in this style of parenting maybe very well behaved, but is complying out of fear of punishments or to avoid pain.

Authoritarian parents have very high expectations of conduct and outcome, but can be very punitive and even shaming of their children, so rarely do children from these kind of families have good self esteem.

Parenting Style In A Box?

Like all our types of parenting, the authoritarian parenting style, it really is not a black and white, fit yourself neatly in a parenting style box! There are many factors that influence our style of parenting, such as cultural considerations. For example, in many Asian cultures with a high value on respecting elders, authoritarian methods can be viewed as care, and training children to succeed.

Like any of our Parenting Styles, it is also a matter of degree, none of us are the perfect parent, all of the time! But as a parent coach, I can't support the extremes of authoritarian parenting style. Shame, fear, physical punishments, or withdrawal of love to enforce good behavior in my opinion are not inspiring ways to raise a child.

The bottom line is, all parents have to work out what fits your own family, and lifestyle, keeping in mind our children's well-being.

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Resources for Parents

Super Skills 4 Kids
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Inspiration for Managing Behavior Issues

Disciplining children.
For parenting advice on discipline read my article on disciplining kids and teens.

Do Children Misbehave?
More ideas on handling misbehaving children, and understanding their needs.

Negotiating with Teens
Teenage years can be a delight and a challenge for many parents. Heres some ideas on handling some of those tricky times!

Teenage Behavior
This Audio answers questions from readers about communicating with teenagers. You can listen to it here from the page.

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