Authoritarian Parenting Style:
Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child
term Authoritarian Parenting Style as a category in her 3 Parenting Styles.
The other two categories are Permissive Parenting
and Authoritative Parenting.
The authoritarian parenting style is seen as being the most inflexible and rigid of all styles of parenting;
"sit down, shut up and do as you're told". Authoritarian parents tend to be more
the sergeant major type, with expectations that children obey unquestioningly,
and are punished when they don't comply.
There is little explanation of rules and regulations, and children are not
encouraged to voice an opinion.
Father's are more likely to lean towards Authoritarian style parenting, probably
because in past generations, the father was seen as the authority figure in the
family, and children were expected to be seen and not heard.
What Effect Does The Authoritarian Parenting Style Have On Children?
These children have very little ability to think for themselves and have little
creative thinking or problem solving ability.
Children from Authoritarian parenting style may tend to feel less close to their
family, than other parenting styles.
The Authoritarian parenting style is emotionally distant, and the way to motivate
a child is by fear. A child raised in this style of parenting maybe very well
behaved, but is complying out of fear of punishments or to avoid pain.
Authoritarian parents have very high expectations of conduct and outcome, but
can be very punitive and even shaming of their children, so rarely do children
from these kind of families have good self esteem.
Parenting Style In A Box?
Like all our types of parenting, the authoritarian parenting style,
it really is not a black and white, fit yourself neatly
in a parenting style box! There are many factors that influence our style of parenting, such as cultural considerations. For example, in many Asian
cultures with a high value on respecting elders, authoritarian methods can be
viewed as care, and training children to succeed.
Like any of our Parenting Styles, it is also a matter of degree, none of us are the perfect parent, all of the time!
But as a parent coach, I can't support the extremes of authoritarian parenting style.
Shame, fear, physical punishments, or withdrawal of love to enforce good
behavior in my opinion are not inspiring ways to raise a child.
The bottom line is, all parents have to work out what fits your own family, and lifestyle, keeping in mind our children's well-being.
Resources for Parents
Super Skills 4 Kids
This home study course designed to help kids solve problems, set goals, envision the future they want,
and achieve anything!
Super Skills 4 Kids is packed with tools, parenting advice, tips and comes with a bonus workbook.
I've had many parents say they use many of the techniques for themselves!
Free Parenting Games
One of the best parenting tips we can offer, is playing with your children!
I've designed a free series of games to help and inspire you to raise happy, productive kids, who are excited about life on this beautiful little planet!
Limited Time Only, Ask Annie is FREE
Online Coaching with Annie - ask your parenting questions, only $9.95.
Your question and my answer becomes a page here on our site, so other parents can get inspired.
Click the link above and scroll to the bottom to read what other parents have asked.
Inspiration for Managing Behavior Issues
For parenting advice on discipline read my article on disciplining kids and teens.
Do Children Misbehave?
More ideas on handling misbehaving children, and understanding their needs.
Negotiating with Teens
Teenage years can be a delight and a challenge for many parents. Heres some ideas on handling some of those tricky times!
This Audio answers questions from readers about communicating with teenagers. You can listen to it here from the page.