Parenting Tips Logo
Inspired Parenting Advice Banner

Bedroom Privacy For Siblings

by Gayle
(Minnesota)

My daughter is 11 and my son is 5. They share the same room with the exception of sleeping time. My daughter sleeps in the bedroom and my son on the couch.

Kaleb prefers the couch and will find his way to it in his sleep. Gabrielle uses the room to dress sleep and read. Kaleb plays cars and Nintendo.
Privacy time is easily managed between the two. Weekends they both prefer to sleep on the couches.

We had to move into a smaller space over a year ago and can't afford to move yet. The room is decorated for both and there is only about 1% arguing over the room which never lasts more than a few minutes.

Is it wrong for them to share a room like this? Some family members think it is wrong and say we need to move. That is the plan but we don't feel rushing is good either.

Comments for Bedroom Privacy For Siblings

Click here to add your own comments

Children Do NOT Have To Have Separate Bedrooms
by: Annie Desantis

Dear Gayle,
Basically well meaning family members need to butt out! It is entirely up to you to manage your family life in the way that is best for you at the time. You are the ones balancing all the factors in your lives and clearly at present you are choosing, very sensibly to wait until you are in a better financial situation before you move to a larger place.

Moving in itself is very stressful, and to do that as well as increase the financial strain on the family would not be in anyone's best interests. Particularly when your children do not have a problem at all in sharing a bedroom. For siblings to only argue a very small percent is absolutely brilliant, even if they had their own rooms!

I myself had both my son and daughter sharing a room for many years after I became a single parent (I slept in the dining room - there was not even a lounge!) I lived very close to fantastic support, and financially I could save until we could buy our own home. It made us closer as a family and my kids (now adult) are the best of friends.

It is hard not be affected when other family members criticize us - their opinion of us is important, and we want their love and support. Of course they are coming from a place of concern - but they are not looking at the bigger picture.

It is only our western culture that insists everyone has to have a separate bedroom, in most indigenous cultures the whole family sleeps together! Many families who practice attachment parenting also believe, particularly while children are young, that sleeping together creates strong bonds and very loving supportive families.

Our consumer society has trained us to believe we have to have bigger and better houses, with more and more separate spaces, until family members can live together in the same house but barely see each other! Separate spaces is a luxury - all we really need is shelter, warmth, food and clean water! Parents these days are overwhelmed with debt, and financial pressure is one of the biggest causes of family breakdown.

Some people feel girls and boys should be separated but there is absolutely no reason for that, it is totally your choice, and disapproval can actually create a problem when there wasn't one! Sometimes when kids get to teenage years they start to feel more self conscious, but that can still be managed by changing in the bathroom etc.

Living in a small home can be hard to manage if family members are used to their own space. But clearly your family are dealing with it all very well, and until you feel the time is right there is absolutely no reason to rush it.

Stay strong in your choices and tell family or friends, that your family choices are your own business, and you are taking care of your family goals in the ways you think are best.

Clearly you doing a wonderful job raising your kids, trust in your own timing for making family decisions, particularly major ones like moving house.

Best of luck,
Annie D

Click here to add your own comments

Do you have a question or want to send a submission to Annie? Simply click here to return to ask-annie.

Problem Solving 4 Kids
Only $12.99

Problem Solving 4 Kids E-book

Learn my 7 Step Problem Solving 4 Kids Process
A step by step guide to teach your kids to be solution orientated.


free-parenting-newsletter

  • Tips
  • Updates
  • Your Stories
  • Competitions
  • Questions Answered

My Subscribers Get Freebies!

Let me know how I can support you to be an Awesome Parent!


Featured Sponsor


Click N Kids would have to be one of my subscribers most popular programs, and from what they say, it is mostly because the kids have fun while they are learning. In fact they don't even realize they are learning! Click N kids are using the Looney Tune Characters now in their phonics program, which of course kids just love.

Welcome!

Home Page

Free Newsletter

Blog

Resources 4 Parents

Ask Annie
Parenting Questions

Tools 4 Parents

Behavior

Parenting Tips

Education

Child Education

Child Development

Parenting Styles

Activities For Kids

Art Activities 4 Kids

Best Educational Toys

Annie Desantis

Who is Annie D?

Parenting Coach

Contact

Terms & Conditions
Privacy & Cookies

Legal Stuff

[?] Subscribe To This Site

XML RSS
follow us in feedly
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My MSN
Subscribe with Bloglines



Free Parenting Games
One of the best Parenting Tips we can offer is:

Free Family Games

Our Parenting Games Series are designed to support you to be an Inspirational Parent.

Featured Sponsor

Best Educational Toys and Games

Hearthsong brings magic into childhood with their stunning range of amazing toys, games, and activities. I've found things here I've not seen anywhere else. They even have a gift registry, which is a great idea for Christmas or birthdays.

Hearthsong are very generously offering my readers a 10% discount off orders over $50. Use coupon code: LNK10HS

Please note the 10% discount is not available on the deal of the week items - these already have HUGE discounts.


Free Book
Allowance Secrets
I was honoured to be included as one of the experts in this helpful book. Some great advice and ideas for teaching children about money.

Super Skills 4 Kids Home Study Course




Return to top | Home | General Enquiries | Ask Annie Parenting Questions
Free Parenting Newsletter | Free Parenting Games | Contests
Super Skills 4 Kids | EFT 4 Kids Program | Affiliate Program

      Copyright © 2008 - 2014 Inspired Parenting Tips.com      Template Design