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Can You Counsel Me About Husband And Wife Issues?

Dear Annie
Can I ask some questions related to husband and wife issues?

I am asking this since this is a site related to kids issues.

Reply from Annie:

Yes, it is fine to ask me questions about any kind of relationships, not just about parenting. As parents, the better your relationship is with your partner or the significant other people in your life, the better parent you can be.

Behavioural issues with children can often be reflecting other issues in the family. A family is a dynamic unit and if one person is out of sync then that effects the whole family. Our children are a really good barometer for what is happening in the family, it is never just about the child. If there is a lot of tension between parents, I would expect that to show up in the behaviour of the children, either playing out what they are learning and seeing with Mom and Dad, or maybe fearful and over compliant, or just acting up.

I am also a trained psychotherapist, not just a parent coach, so I have many years experience working with adults on personal issues, not just on parenting.

Much of how we are as parents is a result of how we have been raised and we tend to just repeat what we have learned from our own parents. So if there can often be a conflict in parenting styles when one partner has been raised one way and the other differently.

Many parents don't want to parent the way their parents did, they want to do things differently, and it sometimes takes some work to unpackage how we automatically react. The more we learn about ourselves and how our beliefs were shaped, the better we are able to make new choices about how we consciously want to relate (or parent).

So feel free to ask questions that are about husband and wife issues, it is all inter related with you as a parent.

regards,
Annie D :)

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