by Cornelius (Nols)
(Port-Edward Kwazulu Natal SA)
Nadia And Her Daughter
My daughter was in a relationship with a nice young man, she was the most loveable child like we brought her up. After 5 years she suddenly broke up and fell pregnant with a unknown man that she says she loves.
She had a feelingless, hard, horrible birth and now a lovely baby girl was born.
I am her father and want to write her a letter.
It is always disapointing when our children don't seem to follow the path we hope for them. But we have to let them make their own choices and they have to learn to live with the consequences and support them as best as possible.
I assume she is still with the new man and as she clearly loves him and now is very tied to him having had a child then you are going to have to accept him into your lives as her partner, or at the least the father of your grand-daughter.
When you say you want to write her a letter, does this mean you are not having contact with her? Do you feel there are things you could say in a letter that you can't say to her face?
Writing is often a good way to communicate, but just be aware if you are going to tell her your judgements that she has made choices that you are not happy with, or that you are disappointed in her, you may well cause her to pull further away from you.
With a new baby she will need her parents support, there is a steep learning curve becoming a mother, and her life has changed forever.
If you can accept her choices and help her to make the best of her new situation you will get to build a wonderful relationship with your new grand-daughter. Having a grandchild
in the family is such a special thing, and your relationship with your daughter will also change as she grows into being a Mum.
Feel free to reply via the comments if you have any specific question to ask.
enjoy your new family,
Annie D :)