For My Girls . . . .
by Diane R.
My Gift To The World
As you know, I started writing a book for each one of you on the day I found out I was pregnant with you.
Though each book starts out the same - with me telling you how I was feeling, what was going on in the world at the time and how I thought each of you would be a girl, they all have different things in them because as much as the three of you are alike, you are three different people, and hopefully I've always respected that.
Through the years I've written about birthday parties, vacations we took, the pets you've each had (remember??-the ones that you swore you'd take care of!), how I hurt when one of you was hurting, and about the many different friends you've had.
I wrote about the tears I cried the day you each walked on to that big school bus for the first time, and about the pride I felt when each of you took your high school diploma in your hand.
I want not only to give you memories when you read these books, but I also want to give you an insight to how you've each come to be the wonderful people that you are.
I've been writing these books with not only words-but with feelings straight from my heart. The things that I've written about, girls, and continue to write about until I give you these books, are not just comments or facts written on a page, they are one heart speaking to another.
Remember when my dad was sick and I had to spend time with my mom and be away from all of you? I wanted to be there for my mom, but it also broke my heart not to be with the three of you because I knew that you were also dealing with the idea of losing a grandfather that you loved. What got me through it, tho, was knowing what wonderful friends you had. They took you girls out to eat or brought food over to the house while you waited on phone calls from me, and they were there to make you laugh when you felt as if you should only cry.
I wrote about this in your books, because I want you to know what a gift-and a blessing it is to have and to be a friend. and I want you to know that it's okay to still laugh when things go wrong and that no matter what happens in life, you have others to lean on to get through it all.
Tracey, we buried my Mom on the morning of your prom night, and I wanted you to know that no matter how sad I felt, I couldn't get over how beautiful you looked and how happy I was for you that day.
All of these moments, girls, are things that happen in life all the time for all of us, and it's not wrong to feel hurt or angry or sad....what is wrong is not expressing those feelings in some way. We are meant to have feelings---it's what makes us know that we are alive.
There will be days I promise you, when you'll wonder if you'll ever be a good enough mother or if you've made the right choices in your life, and you will have days when you wish you could be young again and not have to worry about anything more than did Santa show up last night.
Just know, girls, that these feelings are normal and that it's okay to feel uncertain, scared, sad or worried sometimes. It all comes down to how you deal with these things that makes you a better person.
You can sit and moan and groan about this 3rd day of snow we've been having....or you can do what we did with your friend Stephanie when you were young and we had a blizzard and school was canceled. We made huge palm trees and a sunshine out of paper and cardboard, we got out the beach balls and hula hoops and you girls put on your bathing suits and we had a picnic on the living room floor! The four of you still talk about that day and I love that it meant something to you, and I hope that you each can always find a way of keeping the sunshine in your lives.
Yes, bad things will happen in life, and you will have to deal with deaths and hurts and fears....but it all comes down to HOW you deal with these things. The three of you are so close with one another and you each have such wonderful friends, you should never ever feel like you have to deal with life on your own.
And no matter what, you will always have a place to call home. Your dad and I love each of you so very much and we are so proud of the adults that you have grown into and we trust you to go out and make this world a better place in some way.
I thank God every single day for having allowed ME to be the mother of the three of you girls. I was the one who gave you life - but you, my daughters, have given your dad and me a life worth living.
I don't expect you to conquer the world - it's not ours to own. I just want you to make it a nicer place by being in it and living it to the best of your abilities. Be kind to others and live with your heart and all will be well.
I love you,