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Law Of Attraction Parenting Advice

by Melissa
(Australia)

Hi Annie,
I resonate most strongly with the teachings of Abraham through Esther Hicks. So I am aware that a lot of my issues are centered around being out of my own Vortex, and that the 3 sons I have are great reminders of that.

Yet I find the auto pilot response to their behaviour seems to step in, and there are a lot of buttons being pushed in me on a constant basis, which is exhausting.

They are very determined as individuals, and I have encouraged them to trust their own inner guidance, which they would do anyway.

I have found the greatest challenges have arisen by dealing with the others, meaning the schooling system, psychologists, specialists etc. My middle son Remy who is 9 has a lot of so called learning difficulties, social/emotional issues and sensory processing disorders.

But he is quite complex to them as he cannot be diagnosed with anything specific. Which I am grateful for as he clearly has not come to be boxed by anyone.

So ultimately, despite all the therapists I have dealt with there is no one who can help on that level, and I am more than aware that there are a lot of shifts in myself I can make to assist with these children, I just need to remember it all and do that Abraham Style work on a daily basis.

I would love some input, as they get older there are some tricky habits being played out by both myself and them. I find a lot of solace in surfing You Tube for Abe-Hicks videos, which inspire me, but just at the moment my energy resources are a little low, and the frustration can set in, particularly when I know what to do, but can't seem to get in a rhythm of applying it.

Sometimes it feels like 2 steps forward, 1 step back, but at the same time I remind myself that they are not a problem, they're a massive opportunity for
growth, and I can honestly say the learning curve I have had with them over the last 10 years, has been beyond my wildest dreams.

They have encouraged very open minded thinking on my part, and will continue to do so. I am always amused, that the practitioners I have met with over the years, whether mainstream or alternative have all found their issues quite challenging, right at the forefront some say, and they are extremely aware.

Alas I have some determined pioneers, which I honestly would say that I asked for on some level, but I need to be constantly reminding myself that life does not give me more than I can handle, however some days I don't believe that.

So if you have any input it is very much appreciated.

Melissa

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Conscious Parenting - Part One
by: Annie Desantis

Hi Melissa,
The Abraham Hicks material is wonderfully inspiring, but also as a parent sometimes hard to put into practice.

Like you I resonate with Abraham, and love listening to their teachings, and they have a wealth of wonderful processes for us to use. However, most of those processes are conscious mind based, and whilst they are excellent if you
do them, our conscious mind is just a tiny tiny part of us.

We are actually driven by our unconscious mind, or our inner child - so that is why it is SOOOO hard to actually do some of those fantastic processes in the heat of the moment. Your unconscious stuff is reacting and responding way
before your conscious mind becomes aware of any thoughts, and wham, an automatic response or reaction rushes out and takes center stage.

In general, our conscious mind is only aware of about 15 pieces of information at any one time, but our unconscious mind is absorbing EVERYTHING that comes into our experience. And from that experience we build up our belief systems. Our unconscious mind just stores all those experiences, and when we have painful or uncomfortable feelings or events, then those experiences get loaded with extra energy.

Then because that energy is kind of loud, it attracts other evidence to back up the truth of our beliefs. So all this stuff is buzzing away under the surface and when something happens, we don't just experience that event in isolation - we perceive it through a filter of old stuff. Then before we have a chance at rationally thinking "is this true?" or "How would I like to respond to this" - we have reacted in some way.

Then, we often compound it by adding more energy to it all by giving ourselves a hard time for not being the perfect parent. And from our conversation, you are definitely way too hard on yourself.

One of the difficulties in being a conscious parent, and recognizing that we are 100% responsible for creating our reality - there
can be a tendency to then feel guilty or bad if we don't get clear, or have attracted a situation we don't like. And it is particularly hard in relationships, because they are pretty much the most powerful way we get triggered. As you say, your children have taught you so much! However you are not giving yourself credit for being open to learn and grow and being willing (most of the
time!) to take on these challenges.

Part Two Follows . . . .

Conscious Parenting - Part Two
by: Annie Desantis

So firstly I want to talk about you. You feel to me as if you are overloaded and overwhelmed and are adding to that by beating yourself up for not handling things better or being the perfect enlightened Mum. You also need more female energy - the Mother, the Nurturer - you are surrounded with very powerful male energy which is dominating you.

Your number one priority has to be taking care of you. If you are often running on empty, you are far more likely to react unconsciously. When we are tired, stressed, or out of juice there is no way we can go off and do appreciation processes or looking for the good in the situation.

Like Abraham often says you can't go from frustration to bliss in one leap. You just have to take baby steps in each moment when you can. I'll talk about crisis moments first, then get onto some ideas you can think about to put things in place so you are less likely to react from old stuff.

Firstly - I know it is hard not to do, but DON"T give yourself a hard time when you have yelled at the kids - or responded in ways you don't like. Those moments are telling you firstly you just have "old stuff" running that needs cleaning up, but more importantly use these crisis moments as a reminder that you need to be taking care of YOU.

When you realize you are reacting, simply
stop. I talk about the importance of stopping time - which is giving yourself some time to take a breath, get conscious about what is happening (giving yourself a hard time is simply more unconscious stuff running about having to be the perfect parent!). Stopping time gives you the space to drop down inside and ask yourself what do you need most in this moment. Maybe you need
some peace and quiet and the kids have been bouncing off walls to let you know. Maybe you have been running some old argument stuff in your head so the kids have started fighting to let you know you need to clean up old stories - maybe you wanted to go for a walk but instead you started doing laundry or cooking dinner.

Stopping time gives you some moments to get in touch with what you need. Mothers often find it hard to get connected with what they need, we
are usually running around trying to make sure everyone else's needs get met - and even more so if you have kids with big needs and big voices.

Stop N Drop is a good reminder phrase. You might find your own that resonates better and can act as a reminder trigger. I'll talk more about how
you can set up some triggers below.

Part Three Follows . . .

Concious Parenting - Part Three
by: Annie Desantis

It's great that you have found the watching Abraham videos is inspiring and offers you some solace. Anything like that, where you take some time out and get some input for you, or a source of inspiration is great. It often helps to have
a list - like a toolbox, so at times of stress you can quickly glance at the list and choose something that will help to shift the energy. A favorite piece of music, getting outside and taking some deep breaths, jumping in the shower and washing away your frustration or annoyance.

Make it easier for yourself to be able to do something to shift your energy. It is hard in the heat of the moment to try to think how to handle thing differently. And in actual fact, you are likely needing to do something for you, rather than handling anything else right now.

Don't even try to sort the problem or fix the issue until you are feeling good about you.

If you start doing something differently, first of all, you are changing the dynamic, so the whatever is happening with the kids (or anyone else) has to shift. Secondly you are modelling to your children that recognizing your feelings and honoring them and looking after yourself is the most important thing you can do. So stopping - giving yourself some time out is probably the number one priority.

You might also want to think about getting a weekend away on a regular basis!

Part Four Follows . . .

Conscious Parenting - Part Four
by: Annie Desantis

Abraham encourages us to use meditation to still the mind and hopefully hop into the Vortex - and I talk about connecting to Divine Energy. The Vortex is always there, or your connection to Divine Energy is always there, we just have stuff in the way - both conscious thoughts AND unconscious stuff.

People get worried about meditation and having to do it perfectly or having no thoughts - it isn't like that. In fact if you have got really clear and really connected you will have a wave of inspired thoughts flowing in. When you open yourself to Divine Energy and get used to listening and bringing your attention back, you
will get all kinds of ideas for interacting differently with the kids - or get inspiration about anything.

I love to use chanting when I meditate as it gives my conscious mind something to do. Another way is count as you breathe - count to 7 while you breath in, hold for 7, breath out for 7, hold for 7 - and repeat that 7 times. (This is great to teach the kids too!) That gives you time to quieten down and connect. Sure you will have thoughts popping in, just say hello and drop back inside.

You can actively use your conscious mind to focus on releasing the stress as you breathe out, or bringing Divine Energy or White light down into you while you breathe. Some people like to connect to the earth, getting grounded and imagining a cord connecting down into Mother Earth. Connecting with Strong Woman Energy would be wonderful for you.

There isn't any right way to meditate - there are lots of techniques ranging from dynamic physical processes through to highly disciplined practices. Just experiment until you find what works for you. You might find it easier to have
meditations on your I-pod so you can plug earplugs in and shut out noise from the kids.

How do you know it is working? When you start to feel some peace. You start to slow down. You even may get sleepy, particularly if you are chronically short on sleep.

If you can take some moments on a regular basis to connect with you - then you can start talking to your inner child and taking care of her. She has been struggling away doing the best she can with all this stuff that we are bombarded with, and she can help you to clear it so it is easier to connect with your Source, - easier to get back to the Vortex.

Part Five Follows . . .

Conscious Parenting - Part Five
by: Annie Desantis

Our unconscious mind is not rational and orderly, that's a conscious process. That's why we often refer to the unconscious as the inner child. There is a naive wisdom, and it is acting on your behalf, but often based on flawed information or beliefs. So our job is to open the way to connect easier with our Higher Self, Source or Divine Energy.

Just talk to her lovingly and ask her what she needs, bring in that powerful, loving female energy to her. Thank her for taking care of all the stuff that you have experienced. Ask her if she would be willing to help you clear the old stuff that no longer serves you. You don't even have to know what it is, you simply hand it over to the Universe with love, to be transformed into pure positive energy.

You can ask her for some signals or triggers you can use as reminder triggers for your conscious mind to stop and call a halt to whatever is happening.

If you get a little phrase (like Stop N Drop) then write it down on sticky notes to help you remember. You can chant it under your breath as you do the dishes or take care of mundane tasks. That way you are training your conscious mind to
reach for something different.

You can ask together for the Universe to send you reminders - I asked for birds to be a reminder until I kept having birds crash into my windows! That sure was a powerful reminder that shocked me out of my stuff!

You can use your meditation times to do many of the Abraham processes - that is the best time you can do them, if you have taken the time to get quiet and drop inside you will shift vibrationally so much more when you do their
exercises. Modify them to suit you, you may only be able to take 5 minutes out at a time with the demands of your family, or you may have to use bathroom time as your tuning in time! Be creative about how you can get in touch with you, and start taking care of your own inner child.

You are an awesome Mom, but you have let yourself get depleted, so fill yourself up with love, cradle that inner child as if she is the most precious Divine Being. - She is. The more you let your loving flow - which is your connection to Divine Energy - the more it will overflow to your family. The more you show your kids how you connect and trust yourself, the more they will learn to get some stillness (even bouncing off the wall stillness!)

Part Six Follows . . .

Conscious Parenting - Part Six
by: Annie Desantis

I'll say a little about Remy - bless him, he has blasted his way into the world with sometimes frenetic energy, and a way of being in the world that challenges those nice neat boxes. Thank goodness! There are many children now coming in that shake things up in a powerful way, and yes as a parent that can be hard going.

You mention taking Remy to specialists and the interesting challenge he presents for them (how wonderful!) Unfortunately specialists and therapists on the whole are seeing him as needing fixing. That there is something wrong with him because he doesn't experience the world or react to the world in ways that are considered normal or average. He is showing us there is so much more - different ways to experience the world, aspects of ourselves that need clearing because we judge different as a problem.

Of course as a parent we want our kids to fit in, to be able to take the best advantage of whatever is available - schooling, friendships, functioning within the family and society. You may find Super Skills 4 Kids will help him to
develop some of those skills. But only if he sees the value in learning them. If he is happier in his own world, he won't be interested. Success with Super Skills 4 Kids is when the child chooses something they want to focus on to get a
different result.

Parents are often wanting their children to behave differently for our own reasons - we feel bad as a parent because our child doesn't fit at school, we are exhausted because the dynamics at home are volatile, we feel judged when we go out and our kids act up. Your children sure are bringing you some powerful lessons!

From the little you said, I suspect Remy's conscious mind is overloaded with input, and trying to process far more consciously than most of us do. Our unconscious mind is kind of the caretaker, that stops us getting overloaded,
and files everything away so we can focus on whatever tasks we need to do.

Dreams are the way our unconscious sifts and sorts the events of the day, and tries to reconnect with our Source - or Divine energy. Abraham talks about us connecting to source when we sleep - I tend to see it a little differently. If we are clear when we go off to sleep - we do, but if we go off to sleep overloaded, then our unconscious is working away at trying to contain it all. Kids that are wired a bit differently, are often very restless sleepers, or if they are medicated, that can effect the dream cycles and so the unconscious mind is in overwhelm too.

The more you clear you - and practice dropping down and listening, then you are also clearing things for your boys. Having children would have to be one of the most powerful ways to push stuff up to clear!

EnJOY your boys when you can - and take care of you when you can't!

With love,
Annie Desantis

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