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LOA Parenting vs Traditional Parenting

by Marcie
(King, NC Stokes)

I am just about 5 months young with LOA, but really been doing for a lifetime, only in the form of faith-filled prayers.

It is really cool to so easily trace LOA through my life and see the pathway so clearly. My question is about children and LOA. I am making a transition, along with my husband, to becoming LOA parent.

I understand, after much research, that traditional parenting styles creates limiting beliefs and sabotage their power. I would LOVE any parenting advice and also if the universe always says "YES", what does that mean we do as parents? YIKES!! Is that a dumb question?

I'm trying to find balance and clarity with boundaries. You know, like do we do the old allowance thing and you have to work for whatchaget!!!

Comments for LOA Parenting vs Traditional Parenting

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Parenting Style: LOA - Part One
by: Annie Desantis

Hi Marcie,

Your question is a great one, and one I often get.

Well done for consciously deciding to be more focused as a parent to use LOA principals instead of more traditional parenting.

However, you don't have to provide the perfect experience for your children. You are never going to be able to anyway, nor is it your job. You job really is to model to them how YOU get yourself clear and lined up with your own dreams.

If their dreams don't fit with yours, is is not your job to compromise or give in, or help them to make it happen. Your might just have to bite your tongue and not blow their dream to smithereens! Parents are often far more reality focused than children, and if we don't think something is possible we want to protect our children from disappointment or hurt. But this really does them a disservice on many levels.

They need to have things to aim for, to learn to think outside the box, to learn to aim high. No matter how unlikely you think their dream is, or how much in opposition to your ideas, just get out of their way and see what happens.

I know a little boy who was so determined to get a puppy. His parents were adamant, no pets, and felt bad he was putting so much energy into visualizing, talking to his puppy, drawing pictures and making posters.

However, the Universe provides in often unusual ways. An older woman moved in next door who bred small dogs, and he then became her helper. So it was a win/win, no dog at home, he could play and look after the puppies as much as he wanted. Funnily enough, his parents also fell in love with one of the puppies and guess who now has a dog?

Part Two Follows . . . .

Parenting Style: LOA - Part Two
by: Annie Desantis

Part Two . . .
You are right in saying the Universe says YES to anything you are putting out for. But to get to the place of receiving, you have to have released resistance. If you could spend the whole time in meditation then probably things would manifest pretty quickly! But we have wonderful full vibrant lives and we pop in and out of alignment within seconds!

I also believe in inspired action - not struggling to make something happen. If your kids are wanting something, you don't have to be the one to provide it, nor do you have to be the one to make them work hard to get it! But you can help them to brainstorm ways they can bring their dream a little closer.

When you focus on inspired action, you are open to receiving little nudges from the Universe to bring you closer. You might meet someone, the perfect book comes to you, an opportunity pops up, ideas flow to you. We miss so much guidance and inspiration by getting stuck in struggling to reach our goals.

In terms of working for what you get, or allowances etc, you have to line up with what feels good to you. It is not the rules or the family commitments, like chores etc, that cause the problem, it is if you are not feeling good about it.

It is perfectly reasonable for parents to expect their children to contribute to the household. And if you feel good about paying them to do that, then fine. Money is simply energy and we exchange work energy for money energy.

The problem arises when you end up being the chore police, and withhold pocket money when they have not done their share. Then you have to ask yourself how that feels. If it is something that you end up feeling resentful or angry about, then it is not working.

By the way, my friend Amanda has a free book, Allowance Secrets: To Give or Not to Give? that had many contributors (including me!) who wrote about their ideas about allowances. Some great ideas in there, plus she also has some great programs teaching children about money.

Part Three Follows . . .

Parenting Style: LOA - Part Three
by: Annie Desantis

The key thing for parents, is to be creative about making things work as best as possible for all concerned. If you just end up being the parent police, then you are not lined up with your own loving power, and nor are the kids. Make household tasks fun, have a working bee with a picnic afterward, have a race, or let them cook and you do the dishes.

Depending on the ages of your children, you can make a list of what needs doing and let them brainstorm who does it. Build in them having responsibility, not just you.

Of course as a parent, you do have executive control over running the house and family, but really your primary job as a parent is to show your kids how you get yourself back in sync with you. The more you can pick yourself up and say "hey, I'm not feeling good about this, I just need to do something to help me to feel better" - then the more your kids will learn how to stay connected with their own power.

Sure there will be times you are cross with each other, sure there are times when what Mom or Dad says, is what happens, regardless of what they want! Just keep yourself in sync with you, and always go with what feels best. Do I feel better putting them to bed earlier so they get enough sleep and we don't have a stressful rushed morning? Or do I feel better letting them stay up an extra hour because we are having so much fun? Neither choice is right or wrong, just simply choose what feels right to you, then stick with feeling good about it - regardless of their reaction!

I know that is not always so easy, we tend to react to the reactions of those around us. And that is so unproductive, we just go down a big reactionary hole!

Just keep in tune with what feels right to you. You don't have to be inflexible, you can question it - am I feeling good about this, or am I on autopilot? Is there a better way to do this or does this feel right to me?

But don't spend your time second guessing yourself, the more you just relax and have fun with parenting, the easier it is!

Hope this covered the unseen parts of your submission! By the way, if you subscribe to the newsletter, you get a free audio coaching to download which is exactly what you are talking about.

Wishing you JOY,
Annie Desantis

by: Marcie

Thanks so much!! I will definitely subscribe to the newsletter and I plan to continue with your website and pay for the service after the free limited time. :) Also, since we have made the parenting switch, the children have really come to the pestering point of asking for STUFF. We have actually become more relaxed and enjoyed buying them things here and there rather than saying "no" so often. I mean, we did get them things before, but we were so conscious of thinking that we would make them "materialistic" if we did. Soooo, now that we have done that, the two oldest seem to be less grateful now and always want more! Before, they were delighted when we did get them things and more thankful. Help? I just want to get it right and sometimes all of the changes make my head spin. I probably implemented too many at once, but hindsight won't change anything.:) Thanks again!!!

Perfect Parenting!
by: Annie Desantis

Actually hindsight is useful, in that you can think back to how you were feeling at the time, and make new decisions about what to try in the future. Remember there is no perfect way of parenting, it is more about flying by the skin of your teeth sometimes! And it is fantastic that you are trying new ideas out and seeing what works for your family. You may well swing back a bit to some of the ideas that you valued before.

So just drop the idea that you can get it right and be a perfect LOA parent! Sometimes we have to try things to see how it feels and if it works, and then make adjustments if it didn't feel good, or you didn't get the results you wanted.

Raising kids is one of the most powerful learning times, there is nothing like parenting to push buttons and raise questions about how to do it right!

You don't have to be the one to provide the stuff the kids want - you can support them in finding ways to get the toy or clothes they think they desire. Only buy them things when you are in a place of feeling connected, joyful, having fun. And then you are doing it because it makes you feel good. Without expectations that they will be grateful. Don't do it if you feel you "should" to demonstrate being prosperous, or being a good LOA parent. As soon as you do that, you have disconnected from your own wisdom, inner source, or power. So the kids are showing you that by not appreciating it!

The best thing you can do is keep checking in with yourself. Do I feel good about doing this, is this the best thing to do at this moment? Remember it is not the stuff kids will remember about family, it is the time you shared and the fun you had. We are bombarded with messages about so many wonderful exciting things to buy, and sure lots of that is fun, but it is how you feel that is important, and the stuff won't necessarily make you feel closer to your kids, or bring more joy into your lives.

On the topic of appreciation though, playing gratitude games is a great way of turning the focus to appreciating what we have in this wonderful life. Dinner time is a good time, everyone can take a turn saying what they appreciated or loved about their day, or talking about someone who they appreciate and why. Helping kids to practice uplifting ideas are good tools to use as a family - they see you appreciating them, or being grateful for living in a country with hot water and electricity.

I just want to say, I appreciate your questions, I was "running a should" myself this morning, thinking I must do something, and your comments made me rethink it, and decide no, I'm going for Joy, not shoulds!

Thank You!
Annie D

Thanks so much!!
by: Marcie

Wow, I am so thankful for your heart and your guidance. It is making more sense each day!! This was tremendously helpful and gave me just the right perspective. I was a bit off balance in some areas and this is helping me with balance. BLESSINGS!!!

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