Mom Has To Be The Entertainer!

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Mom Has To Be The Entertainer!

by Paula

Mia Sitting in her Pod Chair on the Bench

Hi,
I was wondering do you have any tips, my baby boy Max is 5 months old, and he is only happy if me or my partner are in his face playing or he is being carried.

He has every toy you can imagine and we have hours of fun time, bath time and book time also we have 5 classes a week baby sensory and music classes, and he also sees friends too.

Even if he could sit for five minutes while I cook dinner would be great. I have tried going in and out of the room so he knows I am coming back. I also carry him in a sling.

I know he is only a baby but this is being silly now if I am not in his eye-sight he cries. Once I pick him up is is so happy crying stops straight away, he is also breast fed and wakes up at least 9 times (I counted last night) for a cuddle and feed. He has been in his own room from about 7weeks old.

Help me figure out my little monkey!

Paula

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Mom Has To Be The Entertainer!

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The Importance of Parent's Interaction - Part One
by: Annie Desantis

Hi Paula,

I know it can get pretty exhausting and demanding, but I have to tell you, his behaviour is perfectly normal at this young age! He is just at the age where he has figured out you are not attached to him, but does not yet have the cognitive ability to understand you are just across the room, or are coming back.

You are totally doing the right thing by going in and out of the room, and playing peepo games help him to learn that you come back. Some babies are happier than others at being left, but usually the bright alert ones want to be where you are and want to know what is going on at every waking minute!

He will grow out of this stage, but in the meantime, just include him as much as you can. My daughter in law used a pod chair for her babies at that age, that could sit up on the bench. I have popped a photo up so you know what I mean. That way you can chat, talk and sing to your little boy, but still get on and cook dinner. Of course you have to have it in a safe place and not leave them alone in it on the bench.

You and your partner are the most important thing in his world, all the expensive toys mean nothing unless he is interacting with you. It is the interaction with you that teaches him so much. Babies that have lots of conversations and interaction when they are young are much better socially adjusted as young people, and have a greater ability to understand language and comprehension at school. Your input is not just entertaining him, you are teaching him. He learning how to relate, how to talk, how to communicate, how to respond. His world centres around you and the more interaction he has the better. So don't underestimate what you are doing with him, playing is learning, and it is so important. It sounds like you are doing a fabulous job with him, no wonder he wants to be with you all the time!

Maybe your partner can take a turn while you are cooking, or when you need to get something done - like have a shower in peace! It is a juggling act at this age, and can be very tiring.

Part Two Follows . . .

The Importance of Parent's Interaction - Part Two
by: Annie Desantis

As for night-time, you must be getting exhausted! It will improve, but he may need the re-assurance for a few more months, that you are still around.
My babies didn't sleep at night either, and still woke at least once right up until 2 years. Some families do the whole sleep program thing, but it was not something I was comfortable with. When they are still small, if they need a cuddle and reassurance, then that is what they need. But if you want to try the sleep training ideas - which can be a bit drastic - you totally have to do what works for you and your little family.

Don't let anyone else tell you what you should be doing. Sometimes well meaning parents or friends insist babies should be sleeping through the night. It tends to be one of the first things you get asked! The reality is a huge percentage of babies don't sleep right through, and wake frequently. Some babies have little tummies and just can't hold enough to last, particularly when they are growing so fast. They can also go through a hungry phase and need extra feeds. As he gets onto solids he will fill up a bit more and gradually start sleeping longer. (Then he will start teething!)

You can help to train him to be less interactive at night. He may well have his body clock in sync for night waking. Make sure he does have a big feed before you go to bed, and then if he wakes within an hour or two, if you don't think he is really hungry, but just wants a cuddle, then just sit beside the cot and pat him. Don't turn on any lights, and say very little. The less interaction you have the better, it will help him to figure out night-time is a bit boring, and go back to sleep! Of course with breast fed babies, they can smell Mum, and you are the most comforting yummy cuddly person! Maybe your partner can do the first visit, if baby wakes fairly quickly.

If you start to have bedtime rituals, then they pave the way for later. So a little quiet bedtime song, and you can sing it to him so he knows it is bedtime. The less stimulation the better in the night, just check that he is dry, not too hot or cold, if he needs a feed, but don't interact, or you are training him to have fun at night too!

But really just give it a few more months, and relax with it all. Make sure you take a nap in the daytime when he does, I know it is tempting to rush around and get some chores done while he is not demanding your attention, but make it a priority to get rest when you can. It is an exhausting time, and the more you can catch up on a bit of sleep, the happier you will feel when he demands your full attention!

Just enjoy your lovely wee boy as much as you can, it really does go very quickly - even if it feels forever since you had a good night's sleep!

good luck,
Annie Desantis

Effectively Reducing Night Feeds
by: Sonia Pereira

Hi,

There is a book I strongly recommend. A friend gave it to me, and it worked miraculously in the first week.

It's the The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
by Elizabeth Pantley.

The basic idea in the book is that you can nurse your baby in the night, but make sure he does not fall asleep at your breast. As soon as he starts falling asleep, you move him away from the breast. If he complains, you can give the breast again, but again only until he falls asleep.

I remember having to take my daughter away from my breast maybe some 4 or 5 times. By the last time she was exhausted and stayed in her bed.

This will make sure they will associate falling asleep with being in their bed, not with your breast. When they go through their light sleep phase at night they will not keep asking for your breast, as they would if they keep associating falling asleep with nursing. The book goes into more detail. But you can get pretty dramatic results with this and with very little crying.

Regarding all the attention your baby needs, it does take a village to raise a child. And it looks like you could do with some help. May be a teenage neighbor or someone that can some in give you some time for yourself, and give your child the attention that he demands.

Every child is different, and some of them are pretty intensive! They are usually smart and a lot of fun, but you may be better off sharing the task of keeping your baby stimulated. Another book you may find interesting is:
Raising Your Spirited Child Rev Ed: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic

Lots of blessings to you and your family! Parenting is quite a journey, but we would not have it any other way!...

Sonia

Thanks Sonia :)
by: Annie Desantis

Thanks for such an awesome comment, I am sure Paula will find both those books really helpful.

Just for fun - I popped a photo up the top of my little Grand-daughter reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution!

(I think they did put most of the ideas into practice too!)

Feel free to add your wisdom to any of our other questions!

Annie D :)

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