My Brother Is Destroying My Family
Thanks for your help, I sent in a question a while ago, and it really helped me a lot. I am now enjoying a better life with my parents who I came to understand better.
You can read Angelina's previous question about how to deal with her over controlling parents here:
Coping with strict Parents
Actually, I have another problem, and really need your help. I was born in a family with strict values and rules and regulations. As my father is a priest, he has done his best to provide me and my brother with a life that is very self disciplined.
However, my brother is now fifteen years old but is an undisciplined child with no sense of manners. He has a different mind of his own, doing what he want without caring of the consequences. Since childhood, he has a different character from others. He is reserved, doesn't like to make friends but gets easily influenced by bad habits and friends.
Ever since he started attaining height, he seems to believe he is superior. He does everything to break any rules and regulations in our house. He doesn't agree with my parents teachings nor with the rules established, such as prayer before eating, not going out late at night.
He understands every thing in a negative way. Whatever is positive or good, he sees it as the opposite. He had the same moral education and same upbringing as mine. For a few moments, he might regret his actions, cries and promise not to repeat it but the next day it is the same.
He is not interested in studies. He left school at a very young age. Through, my parents did everything in their power to send him to school, he bunked school and refused to step there! He is not interested in any course, hobby, activity or anything. His only occupation is with food and he has refused any worked given to him.
My Mom sacrificed her job and become a housewife just to help her son but in vain. Due to all the problems with him, my Mom has suffered the problem of depression and is still mentally disturbed. My dad having reached a certain age, is having early health concerns. Their marriage is being subjected to arguments and is on the way to breaking up.
I am doing an important class right now and my education is being affected through I usually work well in class. He has being given the maximum human values but no effect. There is no problem of communication and through he might be a bad tempered child, he is given not the maximum but the minimum amount of attention and some of his desires is fulfilled but to a certain limit.
He has no sense of money management and spent my dad earnings without asking for permission. He thinks everything is permitted to him. Being short sighted he is being exploited by others who use him for their benefit. Through, he has nearly reached maturity, he still have the mind of a child.
Also, my parents had made him follow psychological treatment but it has had no effect on him. He regrets having being born into such a spiritual family and desires to have another family who could provide him with the freedom he desires.
His temper is the worst thing my parents and I have seen!!!!!!!! He had even lodged a case against my parents accusing them of depriving him of shelter. My parents are afraid to send him to a youth center because of the several cases we heard and read in the newspapers.
The chances are if he goes there he might become worse or suffer from a trauma. Moreover, he always puts the threat of committing suicide in front of my parents.
Please help me to save my parents marriage - I don't want lose them due to my brother. I just want to know if my parents were wrong in their upbringing concerning my brother and how can we correct such a child.
Thanks in advance.