Son Aged 13 Experiencing Intense Anxiety About New School
(Burnaby BC Canada)
I have a highly sensitive 13 year old son. He has struggled with anxiety, panic, and anger for quite a while.
Now, he is getting a lot of headaches, difficulty sleeping, has begun obsessive behaviours. My immediate issue is the intense fear and anxiety he is feeling about going from a small elementary school (300 kids) to Grade 8 in a high school of about 2100!!!
He is scared, very grumpy, bursts of tears, then anger and so on. I have been tapping for some time now in addition to working with crystals, and meditation. He is quite used to it, but when it comes to himself, I would love any suggestions etc.
I'm also going to request a personalized script in the hope that he will be a tad more receptive if he knows that the tapping was designed "for him".
I would appreciate any and all help! I should mention I am a single parent and when my son was 3 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I know my illness plays a large role and do my very best to fight the MS every moment of every day. I don't lie to my son about the disease, but I don't share every little detail as he doesn't need to hear about catheters, tubes etc. I can still walk but need 2 canes.
Anyhow, sorry this is so long!! Thank you!!
At the time Teresa purchased the EFT for kids program, and wrote asking for more help, I was away from home and could not get access to my site. We corresponded by email for a few days, exchanging information and ideas, much of which I have printed below.
I explained there is no perfect EFT script, that EFT works best when we use a script as a starting point, but adapt to tap on whatever is coming up in response to the statements. That is why it is such a powerful tool for kids to get under their belt. It really can be used for any issue or challenge.
Her son was very brave and also wrote a list of his fears, so to help other parents and children we have included that here before my reply.
More Info From Teresa
I've attached the list J compiled for issues he is pleading to tap away. Now, as he is 13, raging puberty hormones, and a tad dramatic, he has stated all issues are at the highest level of ick!
I have reviewed and my opinion is that the school issues, his anger, and general anxiety are actually very bad. The rest mid scale.
Now, the good. J is a great student. Excellent marks, assignments on time and complete. Won citizen of the year 6 times.
That is what is odd. With all the anxiety he has really no social problems. He makes friends easily and maintains the friendships that are good. If a particular friend goes a different direction he is very OK with it - that's life Mom!
His headaches are increasing the closer Sept. 2nd gets and that is a problem.
I know and now J is getting the fact that a couple of well written scripts can be used (with word/issue changes) that a custom script for 20+ things isn't necessary.
He is empathetic, loving, very sensitive, very smart. He's not a sports guy at all, instead prefers reading, video games, more individual activities. Loves weight training, swimming, 1 on 1 basketball.
He is a big kid. Almost 6' tall, men's size 10 shoes so his coordination is lacking thus he avoids group sports!
I hope this is enough info but please please let me know if you need anything else. Again I am so touched that you have taken your holiday time to email me, extend hope and agree to help. I feel positive and hopeful for the first time in a long time.
Thank you is inadequate!
List From J (Son) re Negative FeelingsSchool Issues
I am anxious / scared because the High School is so much bigger than the Elementary school I am used to attending.
I am anxious / scared that I will get lost and be late for classes.
I am anxious / scared that there will be too much homework for me to handle.
I am anxious / scared that the teachers might reprimand me in front of other students.
I am anxious / scared that I will have a panic attack at school and get embarrassed.
I am anxious / scared that I will not understand the lessons or assignments.
I am anxious / scared because I will have several teachers instead of just 1 and they might not all like me.
I am anxious / scared because I will have several teachers and I might not like them.
I get a lot of headaches and I am anxious / scared that I will miss too much school because of them and then fall way behind in lessons. General Issues
I get anxious / panic during the day and I don’t like how it feels.
Sometimes I don’t even know why I feel the panic and the fear.
I get anxious / panic when I have to try new things, especially food.
I get anxious / panic when my routine changes. Why does it ever have to change. I
like things the way they always were.
I get anxious / panic when I think or believe someone is angry with me.
I get anxious / panic when I feel that my Mom is snapping at me.
I get anxious / panic when I feel that my mom is angry at me.
I get anxious / panic / angry when I feel that my grandmother is being cruel.
I get anxious / panic / angry when I think my grandmother is going to try to get me angry and to blow my top.
I get anxious / panic that sometimes I get super angry and I can’t stop it.
I get anxious / panic about heights.
I get anxious / panic if a bee is around (I got stung in the eye when I was little).
I get anxious / panic that I might have nightmares.
I get anxious / panic that I have forgotten to turn off some electronic item. What if it gets destroyed because I forgot so I keep checking.
I get anxious / panic that the doors might be unlocked at night then someone could break in so I get them checked and double checked.