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Teenage Behaviour: Communicating with Teenagers

Over the years I've answered hundreds of questions about teenage behaviour. Parents are often convinced they have the most difficult teenagers and teenage discipline is a big issue for many parents.

You can ask your own question about teenage behavior below - just for the price of a cup of coffee!- $5.00 - or read questions from other parents (links below), plus I have a free parent coaching audio for you to listen to, where I answer some of the questions my readers or clients have asked about communicating with teenagers.

The Audio Answers Questions From Parents Like:

  • My teenager is withdrawn, what are ways to communicate to him?
  • Understanding teenage behaviour
  • Communicating with teenagers
  • Teenage discipline - what is really important?
  • Difficult teenagers or is this normal?
I talk about how to deal with teenage problems more effectively, ideas for dealing with a withdrawn teen, or problems communicating with teenagers.

We explore what is important for your teenager, how to understand their challenging your authority or values, and how you can encourage difficult teenagers to be more involved. Something to think about: Are they really difficult teenagers, or is it our reactions to their behavior that are more the problem?

Of course there will be plenty of challenges with your teens as they develop their own set of values and beliefs and build confidence in their ability to handle problems.

I hope you find some useful tips to inspire or support you in managing teenage behaviour creatively, fostering good communication with teens, and empowering your teenager to develop their internal guidance and self discipline.

Don't forget to read our other parent questions below, and feel free to ask your own question.

Teenage Behaviour Audio:
Communicating with Teenagers
by Annie Desantis

Click to Play (audio is approx 26 mins)
The audio may take a few moments to upload.

The music used on all my audios is composed by William Cushman and is called Angels. Bill composes the most beautiful, stream of consciousness music inspired by his life. His improvisational compositions are often written about his little boy Caleb and his blog has beautiful photos and artworks. You can buy his CD, William Cushman's Ghost Notes Vol.1 for only $7.99 which includes USA postage plus Bill donates 10% to charity!

Ask Annie Your Question About Teenage Behaviour, Discipline, Or Any Teenage Problems

Note To Teenagers: You are more than welcome to ask your own questions about how to handle parents, issues about relationships, sexuality, or any issues you are finding challenging. There is no charge to teenagers.

Your question and my answer become a page here as a resource for our readers. Feel free to comment back. Please note, you MUST tick the notification box after your question is submitted or you won't know when your question has been answered.

Ask Annie Questions About Teenagers (or Parents!)

Your questions answered personally by Parent Coach Annie Desantis for Only $5.00

Please Note - If you are a teenager there is no need to pay, the question will still get submitted to me and I will answer. Remember to tick to be notified when my reply is posted.

The more detail you can give me with your question, the better quality answer I can give you.

Just remember this page is open to other parents to read, so you need to be aware this is not private. Your questions will be a great help for someone else, but to protect your privacy just use your first name.

I may also use your question (anonymously) to help teach other parents - for example, in an e-book or coaching class.

Step One
Write your question and click the Ask Annie Button
Step Two
Edit any changes you would like and enter your
email address so you are notified when the reply is posted. This is private I will never post or show your email address.
Step Three
Click the Paypal button on that page and pay your $5 either by credit card (you don't need a paypal account) or transfer using your paypal balance.
Step Four
I will answer your question as soon as I can. Usually a reply is posted within 48 hours. If I can't manage that I will contact you and let you know how long you may need to wait.

Parenting Questions About Teenage Behaviour
Answers by Parent Coach Annie Desantis

Click the links to read Questions about teenagers from other parents and feel free to add your own comments.

Daughter Wants Her Boyfriend To Say I Love You 
Hi Annie, My daughter is 16 and her boyfriend is 17. They have been dating for about 6 months, but have known each other for about 2 years. He is a …

Teenage Attitude And Behaviour 
My daughter is 13 and won't do anything we ask her to do. We are a family of 5 who live in the house and so we ask that everyone chips in and helps around …

Teen Behavior 
I have a daughter who is almost 13, but she is not behaving at home or at school. She is saying that she is going to hurt herself and she smokes, or she …

My Brother Is Destroying My Family 
Hi Annie, Thanks for your help, I sent in a question a while ago, and it really helped me a lot. I am now enjoying a better life with my parents who …

Problems Understanding My 19 Year Old Daughter 
I am a father who last seen my daughter when she was 5 she is 19 now. In May she moved back into my life from Germany. I never had a chance to help …

How To Get My Teenage Brother To Study?? 
My brother is 17 years old now, studying in 11th standard. He is pretty good at his studies, scored 85% in 10th standard without putting in much effort. …

Daughter Caught Up In Drugs And A Lesbian Affair 
Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians & Gays Talk About Their Experiences Good Day Annie, I need help, my 19 year old daughter is a very pretty …

My Gifted Teen Is Failing Classes And Won't Accept Help 
How can my husband and I get our 16 year old daughter to be open to help? She has been in the gifted program at school since 3rd grade. Because of that, …

My Daughter Is In An Abusive Relationship 
How do I get my daughter to end her relationship? My daughter won't get out of an abusive relationship. Her boyfriend controls her money, who she talks …

12 Year Old Voicing Suicidal Thoughts - Is This Normal? 
My 12 yr old daughter is having feelings that I want to know as a parent if it is normal? She has told me she's feeling sad depressed and anxious and also …

Twin Sons Have No Relationship 
My fraternal twin sons are 17 and in their last year at different high schools. They have a 13 year old sister. I realise in hindsight that my husband …

Controlling Parents 
Hi. I really need your help. I just can't cope living with my parents nowadays. I know that I'm only 17, but still, there are things which I want to do …

How To Gain My Sister's Trust? 
We are a big family- I'm the big sister (28years) and I am older than my sister by 12 years. We are not the talking family all the time but we appreciate …

Withdrawn Teenage Daughter 
I have Five children, the oldest being 14 and youngest being 7. My problem is with the oldest, she is always in her room reading, some days we never see …

17 Year Old Smoking 
My 17 yr old son has good grades, a part time job and is generally compliant, although I feel he is on internet too much. He recently started smoking when …

My Son Has Started Stealing 
My son who is turning 14 is starting to steal. My roommate has brought to my attention that there are a few things that have gone missing. There has been …

Teenager Dating
What To Do When Your Daughter's Girlfriend Tries To Limit Her Dating?
My daughter went out with this boy for a long time, and when he broke up with her, dropping her right before her 17th birthday, she was devastated. …

Can I Take My 19 Year Old Son's Car Away From Him? 
Annie, recently you answered my question about my 19 year old son who wanted to transfer to a different college....partly because of his girlfriend. …

My 19 yr Old Son Wants To Transfer To A Different University..Because Of A Girl 
Hi Annie, my 19 year old son is a college sophomore who goes to a state university about 2 hours from our home, he has always been a conscientious child, …

My 17 Year Old Has Great Difficulty Interacting 
My son is 17 years old. He lives with myself and his stepfather and his 13 year old brother. He visits his father every other weekend with his brother. …

Argumentative 12 Year Old 
Hi I have a 12 year old daughter who is an only child. She has been displaying challenging behaviour for over a year now (since High School). I don't …

My Son Finds It Difficult To Say No To Wrong Friends 
My son is 17 turning 18 in Nov,this year. He finds it very difficult to say No to his friends. In fact he doesn't want to be friends with them, but doesn't …

My Fifteen Year Old Son Has Returned From Foster Care 
I have bipolar disorder and my son was not a planned or wanted pregnancy, however when he was born I bonded with him normally and thought he was the best …

Daughter Failed Exams And No Motivation To Study 
I am a mother of an 18yr old daughter who has failed her 12th exams, but has no interest towards studies. She is very confident in herself, speaks her …

Click here to write your own.

Lying Teenager 
My son is 18 and just graduated high school. He has his first serious girlfriend. My son asked us if he could go to our family cottage for a weekend with …

Teenage Relationships 
Hi..... My son is 16. He has a girlfriend who is 17. She is a year ahead of him. We are accepting of their relationship and really like his girlfriend. …

Stubborn Teen Denying He Needs Help 
Annie, There are several aspects I would like to address with you, so I will break apart the most important in two or three questions. For now, I …

Unschooling Teenagers, Isolation, Fighting, and Weight Issues. 
My husband and I are Unschooling our 2 teenage boys, ages 13 and 17. Short background: We have always unschooled, have always had a very relaxed parenting …

Mom Worried About Teenager Dating 
Concern as my teenager starts dating about not compromising themselves or changing, or allowing disrespect in order to keep someone. Editors note: …

Emotionally Immature Teen 
My wife and I are raising her 14 year old daughter as an only child, (she has two half brothers no longer living at home). She lives in near total …

Developing A Teenager's Interest To Study  
How to handle 17 year old teenager who is intelligent but not putting in efforts to score good marks. He is over confident, casual and arrogant.

How Do You Get Through To A Teen That Says, "I don't care if I live" 
My 14 year old doesn't care if he lives or dies always saying life isn't worth it, or what good is life anyway. My husband and I are going through …

Talking To A Stubborn 16 Year Old 
Hi Annie, My name is Laura. I have been divorced for 3 1/2 years. I left the marriage. My 16 year old daughter lives with my ex and his wife. Not necessarily …

My Daughter Is At Breaking Point - How To Deal With Her 13 Year Old Son 
My Grandson is struggling with life at the moment. My daughter (now 43) was a single Mum, never living with the father of her child, although trying to …

How Do I Stop My Husband From Rescuing Our 18 Year Old Son? 
My husband has never been able to set limits or enforce any discipline with our son, who is now 18. I always had to do the disciplining and enforcing, …

16 Year Old Teenager And Frustrated Mom 
In the last 2 1/2 years my son and I made a big geographical move, and on account of schooling, his dad and I switched parenting roles, and dad is now …

My Parenting Question is about Messy Teenagers! 
Hi Annie, I have three children and the eldest has reached the teenage stage. I am really struggling with how to motivate her to tidy her room, it is …

Click here to write your own.

More Resources For Understanding Difficult Teenage Behaviour
Throughout the site you'll find tips to inspire or support you in disciplining children with love and respect, and empowering your children to develop their internal guidance and self discipline. Communicating with Teenagers can be challenging for many parents so getting ideas and inspiration to deal with teenage problems is really helpful.

Super Skills 4 Kids
Super Skills 4 Kids is an extremely comprehensive course teaching kids and teenagers, (and parents!) to reach their goals, - be it a skill goal, or behavioral goal; to problem solve, and build a vision for a compelling future.

I am very excited to have finally re-developed this course into a home-study course, available online, that is accessable to lots more families.

The Super Skills 4 kids home-study course is designed with a wide range of age groups in mind, and can easily be modified for teens. Some of the case studies within the course feature teenagers.

Super Skills 4 Kids is packed with tools and comes with a bonus workbook. I've had many parents say they use many of the techniques for themselves!

Teenage Problems
Teenage years can be a delight and a challenge for many parents. Heres some ideas on handling some of those tricky times!

Information and Tips about Adolescent Psychology.
What's happening in their head? How are they feeling, what's important for Teenagers?

Adolescence: Physical Development.
Information about Physical Development and Sexuality in Teenagers and tips to help you through those years.

Do you have younger kids? You might find these articles helpful:
Disciplining children.
For general ideas on handling challenging behavior read my article on disciplining children.

Misbehaving Children
Do children really misbehave? For more ideas dealing with difficult issues, read this article on child behavior.

Child Development
One of the keys to understanding child behaviour, is understanding what is appropriate for the child's age. Click here for an overview with links to more in depth stages.

Super Skills 4 Kids

As a Parent Coach, I love empowering and inspiring parents, but it is much more rewarding to see children learning skills that will set them up for life.
Annie Desantis

Be a light, not a judge; be a model, not a critic.

Dr. Stephen R. Covey

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Power Thoughts For Teens This 50 card deck of gorgeous cards feature a powerful affirmation on one side and a visualization on the other.

Kids love to give them to their friends, or my teens used to leave them in books in the school library. A great inspiration, these cards are designed to appeal to teenagers.

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