Too Many Parenting Changes
I Had A Melt-Down Today. HELP!
Hello again. I am so new to all of this. I have only really come to understand and grow in Law Of Attraction over the past 4 or 5 months. I first came into contact with the parenting concepts in my research of Un-schooling.
Children are 10(boy), 8(girl), 5(girl), 3(girl), 6 months(boy). We have Home-schooled since the beginning and Dad has been self-employed since the oldest was around 3. We are very close and loving family.
Honestly, over the past 10 years, I have loved and delighted in being a mother. I am sure there were a few exceptions, but I can't remember many days that I did not feel this way. I never wanted a break and have not ever stayed away from them over night.
Anyway, as I came into LOA, I also was drawn to Un-schooling which I can see go hand in hand. My first encounter with a parenting style switch came to me from an Unschooling website.
I began to understand from this perspective that the advice at hand was children should be allowed freedom in order to truly connect with their life purpose and discover who they really are. This advice included that they did not need enforced bedtimes (We have not been too uptight about this anyway since we HS and Daddy is home with us). They choose and eat what they want, move from rewards and punishment to love and reason,no spanking, remove all media limitations, and basically release most control, coming along side them as partner in this experience. WOW, talk about a paradigm shift!!!
My Husband and I have always been in agreement on discipline. We had been consistent with punishment/rewards from the beginning with LOTS of LOVE and mild spankings with cake batter spatula. As we encountered this information, again we were in agreement to make changes.
I'm really not sure why we decided to do it all at once, except that I so wanted to begin to release them from what I felt was not the best for them. Sooooo, we did a major switch and now things are upside down. It really has to be from all the changes and I need to know how to back peddle some and bring some peace and happiness back on the scene.
My husband is dear and he is right with me so that is a HUGE help. I told him today that we sure were all very happy and peaceful before we did this. He still encouraged me that we were on the right track. I just cried all over him and I told him I wanted to like the children again.
We have always had a no tolerance policy for unkindness. My husband and I learned before we even had children to honor and respect one another in communication. This is our biggest issue, the way the children are speaking and acting towards each other and with us. Were they just withholding this because of the discipline factor?
I really understand that I was over zealous by making too many changes, but how do I get control of things and change the energy level here? I am also trying to focus my attention in a positive manner and needing help with that.
I am reading several books on Un-schooling and planning to start that when we can get things on track with the parenting. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.